Gummy Bears and Worms…Oh My!

I’m sitting here in my chair with a stomachache. Now, before you start feeling sorry for me, I should tell you that I caused this stomachache. Or rather, gummy worms and bears did. I may be a grown woman, a wife, a mother and a Grammy, but I have the taste of a 6 year old. I like candy. A lot. I eat it just about every day. My daddy has the same sweet tooth. He gave it to me, so I guess it’s all really his fault? Anyway, back to the stupid Gummies. Adrian bought me two bags. One bag of worms and one bag of bears. He grabs the bags that has the most red and clear ones in it. I don’t really like the green ones. (But I DO eat them). That’s why I get different kinds. *Side note- the bag says it has 1.4 servings in it. What?? Do they use the Tinkerbell scale???* I ignored what the bag said and promptly ate both bags. Worms and bears. Even the green ones. Since I inhaled them in an embarrassingly short amount of time, I started thinking that if I had bigger amounts, I would ration them (just go with it). Then I thought….there are candy subscription boxes! Sugar! Delivered to the door! So I immmediately started looking at the different boxes. And then I made the BIG mistake. A asked me what I was looking at. Ummm. Subscription Boxes? “What kind?” he said (please note that he was looking over my shoulder so he knew exactly what kind of dang subscription box I was getting ready to buy). I guess that now would be when I should tell you that my husband only eats ONE (???!!??) kind of candy and that kind is Jolly Ranchers. Watermelon only. It’s just the two of us here. There’s Delbert and the W’s of course, but they only get dog food. In retrospect, I guess 2 pounds of candy at one time delivered every month is kind of a lot. I guess. Then he asked me if the candy that I was going to order was for BOXES of Love. Or maybe for the grandkids. I gave him my best Pat (that’s my momma) look. But it didn’t intimidate him the way it worked on us kids. I started to fib and say the candy WAS for the BOXES of Love. Then, I heard it. Two words. Mary Susan. In my mom’s voice. Damn. So I never pushed Order after all. And my stomach hurts. And on a final, snotty note…..next time he goes to buy me the Gummies with the least amount of green in them? Well, I hope the store is out of watermelon Jolly Ranchers.

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