I dearly love these two people!! (My parents)
Ok, so I’m a little, no a LOT, late. It’s February already. I haven’t written in a long time. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to keep this blog at all. I have been in a funk. I fell down the rabbit hole. In other words, I have been depressed. And I didn’t want to do anything. Especially write about it because it’s very hard to admit that I’ve been dealing with depression. But, this is my personal blog and depression is my reality right now. I don’t even know who reads this anyway (I know my mom does, so Hi Mom!)
I don’t want this blog to be one big pity party. You’ll get sick of it. Heck, I’m sick of it! So, instead of staying under the covers and hiding from the world, I’ve decided to hell with that. I’m declaring war. Depression is the enemy and I am going to defeat it! As with any battle, you have to have a battle plan. I’ve been praying, thinking and begging for a plan that will get me motivated to take my life back. So…. Here it is. I figure if I write it down, I will be more accountable.
I love writing. I love this blog. So I have made a pledge to be consistent in my posts. I will post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Hopefully I will post more than that, but I figure that’s a good start. Monday posts will be my Monday Musings. Just general thoughts, recaps of the weekends and doing an accountability check in on my goals. Wednesday posts will be my Wednesday Wishes and Wills. This is where I will write down my goals, dreams, wishes, caring crate updates and things like that. Friday posts will be my Friday Faves & Fails. These will be review posts. They may be reviews of products, food, books, restaurants, etc.
This may not seem like a very big deal to a lot of people, but to me, this is a GIANT step. The past few years have been some of the most difficult in my life. I am still dealing with chronic pain, only now I’m dealing with it without a job or insurance. My best friend of years decided she didn’t want to be friends anymore. Friendship breakups are as hard as divorces! My Daddy has been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure and that terrifies me. My parents are a huge part of my life. I talk to my mom regularly and see them as often as I can. And, I have been procrastinating terribly with the caring crate. I have boxes that have been needing to go out for a couple of months. That’s all the icky stuff.
Let’s talk about the good stuff. And there is so much good stuff in my life. I tend to forget how blessed I am when I fall into my pity parties. I have a wonderful and supportive husband. I also have the greatest family ever. My sister is my rock. She knows when to let me wallow and when to tell me to put my big girl panties on! I have 10 of the best grandbabies ever! My parents are my biggest cheerleaders! And I have become closer to two friends, Maria and Heather. They let me vent and are the calm to my dramatics. Oh! And mom’s book club has opened their arms to me and have made me feel very welcome. My kids and kid in laws are doing wonderful. And I feel like I have drawn closer to the Lord even as I have withdrawn from everything else. So, I would say that the good stuff far outweighs the yuck. I will acknowledge the “blues”, but I will not allow them to run my life anymore! If you are still reading, thank you! I promise future posts won’t be so depressing!
Here’s to taking my life back! ❤️